


Sneaking Around

by MisMiz (Jaaaaack51)



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor, Magnificent Seven AU: ATF, One Shot, Snacks & Snack Food, Sneaking Around, Teamwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 21:06:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6824176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaaaaack51/pseuds/MisMiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sneaking into Chris's house while he's away is one thing. Him finding out about it is something else altogether</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sneaking Around

SNEAKING AROUND

"Pass me those pretzels will you, JD?" Buck propped his feet up and leaned his head back with a sigh of pure pleasure.

JD rolled his eyes. The bowl was maybe 2 inches closer to him than to Buck, but he leaned over and grabbed the bowl off the coffee table anyway.

"Thanks, kid." Buck said, grabbing a handful of pretzels from the proffered bowl.

"This is the life." he continued, only slightly hampered by the fact that his mouth was now full of those same pretzels. "A big screen TV, plenty of beer and skittles, some good company. Everything we need to enjoy the biggest game of the year."

"Too bad Chris had to attend that ATF seminar." JD said as he reached over and snatched one of the pillows that Buck was greedily hoarding on the couch.

"That's what he gets for being the leader." Buck replied heartlessly, trying to nudge JD's recently acquired pillow out from under the young man's head with his foot.

"I would recommend cultivating a more sympathetic attitude in the presence of our illustrious leader, if you value your continued existence." This comment came from the depths of the room's most comfortable chair, in which one Ezra Standish was firmly ensconced.

Buck merely grinned in the southerner's direction. "So, what kind of bet do you have going with Maude _this_ year, Ez?" he questioned, eyes gleaming wickedly.

The other man shuddered. "Let us just say that Mother has risen to new heights of deviltry."

Josiah shook his head in admiration. "What a woman."

"Anyone want another beer?" Vin’s voice could be heard calling from the kitchen.

"Yes." came a chorus of voices in reply.

As the sharpshooter entered the room and began passing out the drinks, Nathan reached over and grabbed the remote off the table.

"Ya'll be quiet now." he ordered. "They have some good pregame stuff this year."

As the six men stared expectantly at the screen, a terrible thing happened.

Hissssss......Phwwtt.....Sssshhhhhh......

The crackling noises stopped as suddenly as they began, leaving six men staring in horror at the now blank TV screen.

"This can't be happening!" Buck screeched. "Do something, Nathan!"

"Me? Why me?" Nathan was not eager to assume this responsibility.

"Why? Because you're the doc. That's why!" 

The ex-medic rolled his eyes. "It aint sick, Buck. It's broke. Besides I aint no Doc."

“JD. You’re the tech wiz kid or whatever.” Buck poked JD who was slumped down on the couch, staring at the tv.

“Steve Jobs himself couldn’t resurrect this tv, Buck.” JD scowled. “Told you we needed to upgrade.”

"Now, brothers. Let us remain calm." Josiah was the voice of reason. "We can simply go elsewhere to watch it."

"Well, what about Ezra's place?" JD asked, looking over at the man in question.

"Terribly sorry, gentlemen. But I paid a small fortune to have my carpets cleaned today." 

"Then what about you, Nathan?" Buck said hopefully.

The other agent shook his head regretfully. "Rain is in town visiting, and I promised her the use of my place today to hold one of her women's meetings."

"Josiah?"

"I'm afraid that I don't own a TV. Devil's handiwork and all that." replied the ex-preacher.

"You're just here for the company, aint that right?" Vin asked with a sly grin.

"Right." Josiah agreed, with a wink in the sharpshooter's direction. "Someone's got to look out for your immortal souls."

All eyes turned in Vin's direction next. He was their last hope.

"Sorry fellas. I'm still arguing with the damn insurance company about replacing my last one. They seem to think bullet holes oughtta be classed along with Acts of God and natural disasters when it comes to me." Vin shrugged. "Just because it's happened a few times in the past."

"I don't know why you don't just move, Vin. What does that make? Four times now?" JD shook his head at his friend who grinned in response.

"But I _like_ that apartment, JD."

"What are we gonna do _now_?" Buck brought everyone's attention back to the matter at hand.

“We could try the saloon?” JD suggested.

Ezra shook his head. “Inez claims that she is still repairing the damage from last year’s festivities and has banned us from the premises until opening time tomorrow.

“But it wasn’t our fault that guy happened to be there watching the game and recognized Chris and…”

“Actual fault is irrelevant, JD. Inez has decided we are to blame and that, as they say, is that.”

“What about a sports bar?” JD offered next.

Josiah shook his head. “Between us we have been banned from every decent bar in town.”

"Too bad Chris isn't here. He has that new big screen tv." JD sighed. 

"Out of the mouth of babes." Ezra sat up from his sprawled position in the chair, a slow smile spreading across his features.

"Ezra..." Nathan began in protest. But he was waved to silence by Buck and JD.

"We wouldn't be hurting anything. We're his closest friends. I'm sure he'd say yes, if he were here." Buck and JD were at their most persuasive.

"Well...What do _you_ think, Josiah?" The ex-medic turned to his friend.

"I think..." The large man paused. "I think that charity should begin at home and our Brother Chris is a charitable man." That Josiah was able to say this with a straight face was testament to his many years of undercover work.

"Vin. You got a key, don't you?" JD looked at the sharpshooter.

"I don't know, JD. I wouldn't feel right about using something Chris gave me in trust."

"Would your conscience be satisfied if we obtained entry in another fashion?" Ezra sent a small smile in the sharpshooter’s direction.

"Well...I reckon that might be the case." Vin drawled, shooting the southern agent a little smile of his own.

"What're we waiting for then? Let's go!" cried Buck, jumping to his feet and grabbing an armful of the various snacks spread out on the coffee table in front of him.

Five happily grinning men followed his lead, and in no time at all, they were on their way out the door, heading towards Chris Larabee's ranch.

**********************************

I thought you said you knew how to do this, Ezra." Buck complained, trying to peer over the other man's shoulder.

"Kindly remove your oafish elbow from my ribs. This is delicate work and you are hampering my ability to utilize my higher cognitive functions to any effect.” Ezra replied crossly, glaring at Buck over his shoulder.

“He means you’re distracting him.” Josiah translated.

“Whatever happened to grace under pressure?” Buck muttered, stepping back a bit. Not far enough to entirely appease Ezra but far enough that he no longer had Buck’s elbow in his ribs.

“What’s taking so long, Ezra?” JD complained. “I thought Maude had you picking locks by the time you were six or whatever.”

“Considering I have not been six in quite some time, JD, I hope you will understand that my skills may be a bit rusty. Now will you, and the rest of this motley crew, kindly SHUT UP?” 

Blissful, utter silence reigned for the next three minutes until, with a flourish, Ezra opened the door and waved the others inside. 

“Your Mother would be so proud.” Josiah informed him solemnly as Ezra stepped across the threshold to follow the others into Chris’s den. 

“Yes. She is just full of maternal pride.” Ezra murmured with only a slight edge of sarcasm. Maude was…Maude and he had made peace with that. Somewhat. Slightly. Which was an improvement over none at all.

****************************

"Now this is the life." Buck sank down onto the couch with a sigh.

"I seem to recall you saying something to that effect not too long ago." Ezra drawled, once more comfortably ensconced in the best armchair in the room.

"That's because it _is_ , Ezra. Now hand me those chips."

"We just gotta remember to leave everything _exactly_ as we found it." JD was a little nervous now that they were actually here in the house. In Chris Larabee's house. If Chris found out...JD didn't want to think about that possibility. Chris valued his privacy. A lot. 

"Kid, we deal with arms dealers, arsonists, and evil people trying to take over the world on a daily basis. I think we can handle a little clean up detail." Buck cast a withering look in the young man’s direction.

"Relax and enjoy it, JD. It's too late to turn back now." Josiah advised with a satisfied smile.

The youngest member of the team somewhat reassured, they were able to turn their attention to the big screen tv that dominated the room.

************************************

"Well boys, how was your weekend?" Chris Larabee strolled into ATF headquarters on Monday morning looking positively cheerful. It was spooky.

"Uh...fine."

"Same as always."

"The usual."

"Nothing special."

"Ok."

"Stayed home, mostly."

The chorus of replies came a tad too quickly.

"Anything happen I should know about?" Their leader persisted, leaning casually against a file cabinet.

Guilty looks were exchanged and then came a chorus of replies like before.

"Nope."

"Can't think of anything."

"Uh Uh."

"Nothing."

"Not that I"m aware of."

"No."

"Well, how was the game then? Surely you boys didn't forget about that?"

The guilty looks now contained an edge of panic. Did he know? How could he? They'd made certain to remove every last trace of their presence. Hadn't they?

"It was ok."

"You didn't miss much."

"It was nothing special."

"I don't remember."

"Exceedingly dull."

"Same as every year."

"Really?" Chris curled his lips in a brief smile. "Well, we'd best get to work then." He turned and began walking in the direction of his office. When he reached the door, he paused and put a hand inside his duster, pulling out a small package which he held up for their inspection.

"Next time you boys go sneaking around where you don't belong, I suggest you remember to check under the couch a little better. You forgot these." In his hands was a box of chocolate mallowmars.

No one had anything at all to say to that.

"We'll discuss this later." Tossing his team a chilling smile, he went into his office and closed the door.

Almost immediately, a chorus of voices could be heard raised in accusation.

"All right. Who had snack detail? Was it you, JD?"

"It wasn't me, Buck. I thought it was Josiah."

"This old sinner was on dish duty in the kitchen."

“May I remind everyone that I was on fingerprint duty and therefore am not responsible for our current predicament.” Ezra paused and looked around at his cohorts. "And may I also remind everyone that there is only one of us that indulges in that particular brand of cookie." 

“Vin!” Five sets of accusing eyes turned in the sharpshooter’s direction. He could feel a bead of sweat start to make its way slowly down the side of his face but he stood his ground. 

“Ok. So maybe those may were my cookies and maybe I screwed up on snack detail.” Vin glanced around to gauge their reactions. It wasn’t looking too good judging from the unimpressed looks he was getting. “But I’m also your only hope of getting into WITSEC. The Marshall’s office hates the rest of you guys. So take that and shove it up your…”

“They didn’t seem too fond of you either, Vin.” Nathan interrupted, eyeing the sharpshooter doubtfully.

“Well, maybe they don’t exactly love me but they hate the rest of you so are you willing to risk it?”

“Maybe we could find shelter with Ezra’s mother until Chris has had time to reflect on the virtues of mercy.” Josiah suggested.

“I would rather take my chances here, thank you.” Ezra shuddered.

“Ok. Fine. So we don’t kill Vin.” What do we do?”

“We could…”

****************************

Chris moved away from his office door where he’d been listening, shaking his head as the argument/discussion continued on. He estimated he had about an hour to get some work done before they sent Vin and JD in to parlay for peace. He sat down at his desk and tossed the cookies carelessly on top of a stack of folders. They really were the best ATF team in the country but there were times you couldn’t prove it by him.

**Author's Note:**

> They really are the best. So it's almost like they wanted to get caught or something. Guilty consciences or a heretofore unsuspected kink involving pain and punishment and Chris? Whatever you decide, thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed. :)


End file.
